Monday, April 23, 2012


i could blog about violet's first time going in the ocean (2 weeks ago),
or how she saw snow for the first time (last month).
i could write about her first earthquake (this morning),
and how my mommy instincts were so intense.
i could even share photos from our trip to australia,
where we were lying on a beach and first felt our baby girl kicking.
or photos from when my sister & nephew came to visit from down under.
or how about our first family photos we took last month?
i'm so so behind in sharing!

but more pressing on my mind...
is the fact that i'm still in my pajamas,
cleaning up these types of messes.

and thinking about all the things that stress me out...
will's truck broke down this weekend.
our washing machine has been broken for a few weeks,
it stained my favorite blankets & baby clothes with thick black grease,
and i've been scrubbing them with spray n wash as hard as i can.
we decided to buy a washer off of craigslist.
 today we find out it doesn't spin the clothes.
i still have 55 papers to grade for my abnormal class
(collected them 2 weeks ago, and students keep asking for them),
and just collected 40 more from my psych testing class.
honestly we haven't scrubbed our showers for weeks now.
our usually overflowing fruit bowls are empty on the counter.
the weeds are back in my backyard, taunting me.
there are always photos to edit, and clients asking for them.
taxes? we filed for an extension.
etc etc etc.

people ask me how i do it. (i'm not sure if i really do)
how i am a professor, run my own photography business,
take care of a home, and now have a little baby girl of my own.
she gets priority. 
i want to spend my days giving her whatever she wants.
walks, baths, stories, tickles, funny voices, toys, and 100% attention, 100% of the day.
being a mom is amazing.
i love it.
i also love that i am using my education, 
and contributing financially to our family.
i'm too scared to pause from my work, because i'm afraid those doors will close.
and this is the paradox that many women find themselves in, eventually.

okay, so i know i'm very lucky.
i only have to work away from home 2 nights a week,
and violet gets to hang with her daddy those nights.
but wow, working home from while taking care of baby is so so difficult!!!!!!
it's just a busy time right now...most of the time it's not so bad.
we are SO looking forward to summer break, 
where besides a few weddings & editing,
i can spoil little violet each & every day, all the day long!

now, if you can find the time,
i would love to hear your words of encouragement.
how you manage taking care of babies,
and your home, and having quality time for your hubby,
and some of you even have time to work,
or craft, or garden, or even exercise!
please do share!!!!!


  1. I hear ya! Especially now with 2, I find you just have to let things go. You can't do everything or have the cleanliest hows. Toddlers and a clean house don't mix anyways :) I work from home too, so I use nap times and late nights for that. It is pretty impossible to work when both kids are awake. I make sure we get out to do something fun for James at least 3 times a week. The other 4 days we are fine just being at home and trying to get laundry done and clean what I can. The best gift I give to myself is to have the house cleaned on occasion. I can't tell you what a glorious feeling it is to have the whole house cleaned at once! If you can do it... I highly recommend the splurge! You are doing great. Violet is not going to remember if the showers were spotless... but she will know how much you gave to her while she was young. But then again... she will probably forget that too once she hits 13!

  2. You have the balance set right. I was one who has always wanted to financially contribute and felt I was strong in my knowledge of who I was and what I wanted. It wasn't until we had our son that my priorities shifted and I am now in a balancing act and learning what I need to let go of and what needs to be given more attention. tune in to those motherly instincts. they will speak the most right way. also in the middle of this comment mine woke up from his nap with a massive blow-out. my thoughts are with you! ha ha!

  3. I wish I had words of advice on how to raise kids while working away from the home.
    However, I do not have children.
    BUT. I am your newest follower and I love your blog.
    I guess my advice would be just take those particular days where you work one step at a time.
    Oh, Just Living the Dream

  4. It's hard to keep it all together! My things to do list keeps growing and growing too, but spending time with your little one is always #1 !

  5. A couple of poems that help me keep things in perspective. With the first child it seems like the "to do" list is insurmountable. But it really does go by so fast that you blink and start to miss those messes. It's true.

    If I Had My Child to Raise Over Again
    by Diane Loomans

    If I had my child to raise all over again,
    I'd build self esteem first, and the house later.
    I'd fingerpaint more, and point the finger less.
    I would do less correcting and more connecting.
    I'd take my eyes off my watch, and watch with my eyes.
    I would care to know less and know to care more.
    I'd take more hikes and fly more kites.
    I'd stop playing serious, and seriously play.
    I would run through more fields and gaze at more stars.
    I'd do more hugging and less tugging.
    I'd see the oak tree in the acorn more often.
    I would be firm less often, and affirm much more.
    I'd model less about the love of power,
    And more about the power of love.

    Sometimes you get discouraged
    Because I am so small
    And always leave my fingerprints
    On furniture and walls.

    But every day I'm growing -
    I'll be grown some day
    And all those tiny handprints
    Will surely fade away.

    So here's a little handprint
    Just so you can recall
    Exactly how my fingers looked
    When I was very small.